in order to possess joy
you must hunt her down
a game of hide n seek
she only responds to an invitation
and even then you must
capture her elusive nature
for the moment she is yours
revel and relish in joy
own her each and every opportunity you get
for there are million opportunities lurking in the next moment
waiting to pounce and steal your joy
but now you are the wiser
remember the secret to possessing joy
and you shall never be without for too long
You know when you know something, I mean reeeeeeeally know something deep down without reason? This is and always has been my life line, my north star.
This sixth sense (my intuition) manifest on the regular as an intuitive knowing; a rock solid knowing which arises without explanation or prompting.
This inner knowing is unwavering, even in the face of staunch opposition and reason to sway in a different direction.
Intuition guides me in every moment.
I followed my intuition when I dissolved my online intuitive consulting / web design business in 2015 electing to re-enter to traditional workforce in a clinical spiritual care role (as a Hospice counselor).
I followed my intuition when I recently left that job (farewell Hospice), a decision I did not take lightly. In fact it was incredibly difficult.
You see 2016 was an incredible year and yet all the while I knew it was temporary.
If you recall I am a highly sensitive, hyper empath and so in some ways I suppose perhaps my time in harsh medical environments was limited from the get-go.
I understood and accepted the risks for the adventure and opportunity to witness and experience death in such an intimate and expansive way called to me.
I jumped in with my whole heart.
What I learned and experienced will carry me for a lifetime.
- I cemented valuing diversity and inclusion by serving a widely diverse range of people and family units and connecting to the core human experience.
- I rediscovered my love for humanity and how f*cked up everyone is or has the potential to be (I mean seriously NO ONE has their sh*t together, despite their best appearances).
- Due to the clinical nature of my spiritual care position, I found legitimacy and affirmation in my own abilities and approach within a traditional environment.
- My awareness grew around the insidious nature of christianity and the patriarchy and how even when people think they are catering to "diverse" spiritual perspectives, they aren't.
- I witnessed the incredible power of love and grief and the uncomfortable nature of dying. Some things cannot be managed or changed. They simply are.
- Health is a fickle and precious thing. It's not guaranteed to you even IF you make all the "right" lifestyle choices.
- Honored is the only word I have in return for all the memories, stories, and truth folks shared with me. Thank you.
You see, no one needed me to die, or even to die well.
Dying is something we all do on our own terms, in our own way.
In truth, I never adapted well to the position.
I was willing to overlook this for many months in the spirit of patience and learning.
I figured I needed 6-9 months to adjust and adapt to the new schedule and routine but after 9 months I was already feeling the itch of restlessness. Not to mention I hadn't figured out how to sustain acceptable levels of energy.
I had absolutely no time, energy, or space for the people and things I love and value. I was tapped out, to the MAX.
The realization settled in...
I began to understand and see that this job I loved and cherished, was a vehicle for meaning and purpose, therefore I wouldn't let it go irresponsibly or without exhausting all options within my control.
I explored every possible avenue from practical strategies and life adjustments to far off cosmic insights.
In my persistence I grew sick.
Like scary sick.
Suddenly I found myself in a fight for my own life because my ego had become attached to death and the significance I found in my work.
Oh the irony.
Something soooo right, shifts. My hesitation in honoring this inner knowing required a more serious perspective and understanding.
Well folks, I got that. In the end it was me, my intuition and a lot of tears.
My body demanded I pay attention and commit to her first, then to those that I love and value, and my work third.
THIS IS A RESURRECTION...
I am returning FULLY to my online presence. Where I can retain my precious freedom, build work around the people and things I value AND provide value to you, good people of the world!
Currently things are still under wraps and in progress but there will be new ways to work with me this spring (including intuitive readings and more extensive support options), stay tuned.
key take aways
In part our life is built of the things we focus on.
We are creatures naturally wired to seek and possess that which we desire.
There is nothing inherently wrong with this notion.
Seeking more joy?
The time is now to hone and focus your hunting skills.
Remember, there is no noble notion requiring you to sacrifice your joy.