a very personal tale + are you sitting on the throne of power of your own souls growth?

They say intuition (or your soul) whispers to you.

That you have to be still in order to hear it. Umm, yeah that's true but (and this is a VERY BIG but) sometimes it speaks quite directly and clearly and we refuse to listen.

This is my story....

Last DEC I had begun to feel restless and bored working in Hospice as a spiritual counselor. Part of me loved the work and then part of me was over it. 

Turns out meaninglessness can live anywhere.

The problem was I derived way too much self worth and value from this official "legitimate" job. Don't get me wrong the work was good and I was good at it but it was time for me to move on and I resisted because of many reasons.

Then I fell, inside my own house and realllllly hurt my bum. The bruise was terrifying. But overall, the fall was no big deal, I was on the mend (or so I thought). 

I persisted and kept showing up to work and my life.
It sounds so virtuous doesn't it?

When I rang in the new year with my family we did a cool ritual where we said goodbye to our old themes and picked a new one we could all personally dedicate ourselves to. My children practiced self awareness, reflection, and conscious shaping of their own lives. It was beautiful.

My word for 2016 had been prosperity. I didn't want to let go of it. So much so that I solicited input from my family and support circle for a theme for 2017. Everyone came back with the same word : JOY.

I knew I was in trouble.

This was an indicator I was in for some kind of awakening and I could feel my talons gripped into what I had— there was no room for what was to come.

So, I continued on with my new 2017 personal theme of "JOY" and overall family theme of "HARMONY" in my back pocket. 

Only a few 24 hours into 2017 I found myself in the wrong place at the wrong time. I had gone to see a patient but when I arrived I had to respond to a totally unexpected life and death crises.

As I held this 40 something woman's blue face in my hands, I attempted to move her airway and follow the instructions the 911 operator was giving me. Meanwhile I had to boss this intoxicated, wildcard of a young man around. My basic sense of safety was violated. 

Don't get me wrong. I handled this situation like a pro but on the inside, my soul said "NOPE" this is a deal breaker.

Guess what I did following that?

I let my people know what happened and that I had been traumatized but I persisted. 

I kept showing up because at one time in my life, showing up was the work to be done. 

But this time there were serious health consequences for me. Pushing through was not panning out well.

In some ways I feel like I was forced to surrender but in truth I choose surrender. I said "f*ck this, I am out". I choose my health, my sanity, and my soul. Recovering has been a slow, gradual process. 

I've seen new levels of health and stability unfold for me emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually, at different times.

At first I went to medical professionals to address my health problems but the treatments actually made me worse. I thought, I've been here before. I know what to do. 

When chronic symptoms begin to flare I know I am being commanded on a soul level to do something different or learn something, to grow. This is my life's work.

Life isn't about constantly growing. We get reprieves and seasons of enjoyment and ease but there are certainly marked period of deep spiritual growth. We can't do this alone.

I've been writing and developing teaching tools and concepts around personal growth and spiritual development since 2011. My most recent experiences have given me the opportunity to refine and expand on a body of work that has been in creation for a long time.

You see I believe...

  • real life is the portal to Spirit
  • our body communicates important information to us
  • the mind must both be engaged and silenced 
  • your souls primary purpose is to grow
  • we want to tell the truth about who we are (like it's an actual need) 
  • we want purpose, depth, meaning and HARMONY over short-lived feelings like happiness or bliss

I see the task at hand as allowing our souls to mature not ascend or transcend— although these can be valuable tools to access information, we must learn to ground and integrate knowledge. This is the way.

Do you feel the desire to SHIFT? My dream is to hold ten women in an intimate, focused summer support group with tons of 1 on 1 support.

This offering is designed to place YOU at the throne of power of your own souls growth. Learn more here.