Today I'm sharing a burial ritual for a special token item that had run its course. This post features a very personal tale and my prayerful journey. It also gives a realistic look into how time unfolds and awarenesses arise when we have a strong spiritual focus.
First, some background.
In the spring of 2017 I left my full-time gig as a Hospice Chaplain because I was facing my own medical crises. Part of my recovery included a sacred pilgrimage to Peru. This trip was highly introspective and seemed to give me just enough of a spark that I knew Spirit speaking to me, continuing to guide the way through turbulent and unpredictable times. It was enough to keep me in the game, even though I felt like the rug had been pulled out from underneath me.
For that trip and every moment that has since passed I've had one dedicated prayer:
"I wish to have ultimate clarity on my spiritual purpose and direction PLUS the physicality to carry it out."
I requested clarity on my spiritual purpose because I'm a gal with many interests and skills but my ability to be productive and keep up with demand has greatly lessened since turning 30. This means I must be highly selective in the projects I participate in. It's a matter of necessity for my own health and sanity.
But to know my spiritual purpose and the direction I am to take and not be able to live it out felt like a death sentence. I was trying to put myself back together, and I was clearly missing important health elements (and it wasn't because of effort). My illness now had a mind of its own. It had total and complete control over me, my relationships, my career, my daily life, and sadly my ability to dream for the future.
So I consecrated my prayer in multiple sacred locations and secured a handmade beaded bracelet around my wrist. I wore it as a reminder of my mission. I knew answers would be revealed, I just didn't know how or when.
I wore that bracelet for 18 months until one day I noticed it had started to mold/mildew and stink. So with sadness and some hesitation, I cut the bracelet, saving it for when spring came to Michigan and I could put it in the Earth.
At the time, I didn't think much of why the bracelet molded.
Meanwhile, my health journey has been complicated, unpredictable and frighteningly difficult. Not to mention, costly! In the past two years alone, I've spent well over $60,000 on tax-deductible qualified health expenses.
The level of advocacy required pushed me to my limits. All the while sourcing qualified (non-quackery, non-charlatan) middle of the road, lab-driven decisions on the edge of medical understanding is no easy feat. It's damn near impossible.
I grew very tired. And hopeless.
But still kept at all the things I knew to help. The only trouble was now at this point I could no longer identify what was helping or hurting me. Hence, the need for highly specialized advice and input.
Flash forward to the present time.
After a stint of getting on airplanes to see a doctor I thought could help, I've assembled a local dream team to help me recover — a functional MD and a health coach specializing in autoimmune, neurological, and genomic components to chronic illness.
Turns out of biotoxins (i.e. mold) is a MAJOR player in my health or lack thereof. I now know that I have a genetic-predisposition to mold-related illness. Combine that with known exposures (several) and I'm toast.
But you see, my bracelet told me so!
And this is why it must return to the Earth.
I knew that this talisman needed to be buried in my new spirit medicinal garden —my personal pollinator project. Intrinsic to its layout and design are spiritual elements, personal power signs/symbols and co-creative respect for the elements. As I tend the garden, I know that I’ll eventually harvest some things I grow. Yes, the garden is for me but it’s also for the birds, butterflies, and bees.
To bury the bracelet I invoked sacred space and called in my spirit allies, helping guides, and my bright and well ancestors. As I dug a deep hole, I did so with the intention that I was willing to put in the work and continue to show up for the garden and for myself.
The wind whispered in my ears that tending the soil would also tend my soul.
Alter centering myself, I was able to experience a strong sensation of gratitude in my heart space. In went my bracelet deep into the dirt. As I covered it with soil I acknowledged the journey we had taken together AND the insights that had been revealed, even though I was slow on the up take.
Then on the soil surface I planted an abundance of sunflower seeds.
As the season unfolds and sunflowers sprout, the birds and I will revel in the living tribute.
This ritual afforded me the opportunity to recognize the spiritual value of a particular item as it related to a prayer and critical life questions.
Who knew 35 would end up being one of the hardest years of my life. I have so many more stories to share, and I will, all in good time. I can see how this struggle is breathing new life into me (my body and soul), those closest to me, and of course my body of work.
I’m certainly not out of the woods yet, but I have expertly qualified professionals and the micro-level guidance I need. And I am grateful for that. As I get stronger and healthier, I expect my bandwidth to increase allowing me to complete projects that have long been in the works as well as open up a very limited # of coaching opportunities.
In the meantime I continue to write, and refine all of my teaching concepts, fleshing out old, outdated perspectives and infusing new life into them. That I truly can’t wait to bring forth.
Once again, thanks for being here.