Ditching the fad of being a spiritual teacher.

Nowadays it seems like burning sage, adorning yourself with crystals, and talking to animal spirits is all the rage. Oracles and fortune tellers are the next big thing. 

Don't get me wrong I am ALL about divination and mystical practices; after all, I've dedicated MUCH of my life studying human nature, psychology and spirituality. However, I can't help but be turned off by the mass appeal of anything and unfortunately it appears to have infiltrated the mystical realm.

In my personal experience, dipping in and out of the mystical realms is not something to be taken lightly. Living as a mystic in truth is much less glamorous than all the feather, sunny images splashed over social media would have you believe. 

Initiation is brutal.

Brutal? Really. Isn't that a bit dramatic, I can hear you asking.

No. BRUTAL is exactly how I would describe it.

Fetal position,
soul piercing loneliness, 
chronic pain and illness,
pure suffering,
was my way in.

It remains so.

Do I consider myself lucky or special? No. 
Not one bit.

Last spring I had a big wake up call. I had become attached to the idea of being a spiritual teacher. I wanted to be seen and valued for knowledge and skills in this particular area.

I took a look around at myself and saw that I was pouring more of my heart into selling myself and convincing you I was wise and tuned in rather than living it. 

And so I quit fucking doing that.

I didn't make any outward declarations. Instead I broke up (gently and gradually) with people and projects that had me tied in, in this way.

I came face to face with my life and what I was really doing.

Think: living by distraction. 
The solution? Digging in with my family.

I suddenly started to honor my stronger desire to feel the grass on the bottom of my feet rather than have someone listen to my words. Sidebar: have you ever felt the grass ever so lightly tickle the soft soles of your feet as you swing? It's heaven and I recommend it.

I basically vanished from all social media after asking myself: what's the point? 

I turned a mirror on myself and saw the places where I wasn't capable of seeing my truth and my true desires. And so I just sat with it all, sans distraction.

And with my children and their marshmallow cheeks. And made radical (aka terrifying) but oh so necessary decisions. 

What's unfolded since has been a radical shifting. A total reconfiguration of how I communicate and stay in relationship with the spirit realms. I dream of being totally embodied one day but truth is my mind is a STRONG force and she entices me more often that I like to the land of rational thinking.

I once had a teacher tell me that I would have to become unhooked in all the places I was tied in. Turns out she was right. 

We are never fully unhooked, the ego follows us and shape-shifts alongside of us. We can either see her, honor her and work with her OR become the shadowy, rejected parts. I choose to see and BE. 

Invite me into your sphere.

I'll bring something of substance, every time!

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